Are You Tan or Are You Orange?

Winter is coming, and thanks to everyone in my family pointing out, I am incredibly pale even for the season. I would describe my skin tone as leftover mashed potatoes from Thanksgiving, not really appealing as evident from my Tinder DM’s. As much as I act like being pale is nice and acceptable, I genuinely think being tan suits my skin and makes it appear to have more life. My favorite artist and idol, Ariana Grande, is the queen of tanning and is what made me make the trigger-pulling decision to go to Ulta and find (the cheapest) self-tanner of “Deep Bronze”. Because of that, I learned the hard way on how to find self-tanner for your own skin.

I followed the directions on the bottle to a T, but I ended up looking like a reject Oompa Loompa. Full orange aesthetic with stained burnt orange hands, but I still thought it looked good. Only now after looking back at that moment, I realized how warm that self-tanner was for my skin tone. I have neutral to cool coloring with heavy pink color on my face, so adding a tanner with orange and yellow base would never have worked in any scenario. After some research I found that the descriptions on the label are obviously for specific skin types, but like an idiot I wanted to be as dark as Ari.

For cool skin tones it is recommended to use the Fair to Medium, and if you want for a dark tan you just have to reapply the lotion/spray/mousse until the desired complexion; also, do NOT forget to exfoliate, I didn’t the first time and I had patches everywhere like a reverse leopard. . Neutral skin tones are recommended to use Medium, and just reapply if you want a dark tan. Warm skin tones are recommended to use Medium to Dark and to reapply for darker tan. You cannot go in head first to self-tan or even spray tan with the darkest tan. These self-tanners work for specific skin types because of the base colors of them. You cannot believe the people that post pictures of their self-tanner success because they may be using a tanner for their skin tone, and/or might look discolored in real life compared to a phone’s camera. So, don’t be me and be the Annoying Orange for two weeks because you wanted to be bronze for the holiday cards. 

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